Yeshua told them this parable, saying, “What man among you, if he has a hundred sheep and has lost one of them, does not leave the 99 in the open pasture and go after the one which is lost until he finds it? When he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost!'" I tell you that in the same way, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over 99 righteous persons who need no repentance. (Luke 15: 3-7)
I believe a person's testimony is not complete without a follow up of what happens after salvation, and until he or she has produced enough fruits of the Spirit. Yeshua told his disciples the parable of the sower, which is about the spiritual growth of four different believers, exemplified by the way each seed fell into the ground: One believer heard the Word (the Gospel) but the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart. The second is the believer who hears the Word and immediately receives it with joy, yet when persecution arises because of the Word, immediately he falls away. The third is the man who hears the Word, but because of the worry of the world and the deceitfulness of wealth, he becomes unfruitful. The fourth is the man who hears the Word and understands it, who truly bears fruit and grow.
So my story continues... I was so excited about my new found faith and wanted to share it with everyone. I wanted to be a "Christian," not realizing that label was not necessary. It was enough to be saved. I thought I was the only Jewish believer in college. I did not understand that Jesus was Jewish and so were all his disciples. The New Testament was a Jewish book, written by Jews. It did not occur to me because I was seeing it from a Christian perspective. Like everyone else, my mind was compartmentalized, there was no reconciling both perspectives. Jews were Jews and Christians were Christians. I had a gold necklace with the Star of David pendant that I removed for awhile. I went home to tell my family about Jesus, never expecting to upset them.
Although this never happened to me, thankfully, I have heard stories. A "funeral of the living" can happen in some Jewish families: for example, if a member of the family converts to Christianity, or proclaims his faith in Yeshua as Messiah, the family pronounces that member dead and refuses to see him. They allow themselves to grieve and make arrangement for a funeral, even though the rejected member is still alive. It is ridiculously extreme but sadly true. Jews have been living in fear of persecution for centuries, they face the challenge of trusting people outside of their own faith. It was so with my own family. I became the black sheep of the family.
God promised that veil will be removed in these last days and I believe it already begun in the Sixties, a time when the younger generation wanted changes: Make Love Not War, the drug culture, the Hippies, the Communes, the Jesus movement, etc... and many Jews began to find Yeshua. Since then, Messianic Jewish believers have been gaining in numbers for the last five decades. Whereas, Jewish believers in Yeshua were rare over a century ago, now we have Messianic congregations all over the world, including Israel. There is strength in numbers.
So, at a time when the Messianic movement was just beginning, I felt alone when I found the Messiah, except for His Spirit. Since I thought I was the only Jewish believer, "conversion" seems the only desirable alternative. My family thought I was naive. I did not have an emotional support system. I joined a Christian group where the focus was on group activities, not on the individuals. We had time for prayers, but I did not know how to pray and the others did not understand my needs. I was still a baby believer and vulnerable to deceptions from the enemy of God. And because I did not have anyone to guide me, I lost sight of God for a while. Yes, it is surprising. All it takes is one angry person to share the wonderful gospel with, if the person rejects the message with enough angry words, it can lead to confusion. It is very hard for new believers to see the Messiah rejected by family and peers. It takes a very strong person to stand up and speak about Yeshua without giving up. If you read the parable of the sower, I was like the plant that grew fast but got choked by the weeds. I did not understand that being rejected was part of the believer's lifestyle. Depression hit me like a wave. I closed myself to God. I stayed a new believer for only a year. I found out years later it is called “backsliding.” It does not mean that one lose their salvation, but it is a conscious and voluntary withdrawal from fellowship with God that can be temporary. (Here are links of articles with explanation of what backsliding means, Backsliding and Seven Reasons Why A Born-Again Christian Cannot Lose His Salvation)
If I had a word of advice to new believers it would be this: be watchful. New believers are like newborns, they need protection from a cruel world and much encouragement. They need to grow more spiritually mature until His strength flows in them. They need to find a good congregation or church, a good teacher and someone to guide them through their walk with Adonai. The Holy Spirit will prompt them when the time is right. Never approach an unbeliever without praying first. It is better to witness with someone else, another person who can be supportive, like a mentor. Even the apostle Paul, right after he encountered the presence of Yeshua and went blind briefly, he had to go through a sheltered period of nurturing, before going out to preach. He eventually became the most courageous apostle of them all. He urges us in Ephesians 6:18: With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all believers, and pray on my behalf, that utterance may be given to me in the opening of my mouth, to make known with boldness the mystery of the gospel.
In this same chapter, Paul urges us to put on the full armor of God to stand firm against the plan of the adversary: the girdle for truth, the breastplate for righteousness, the feet covering for the gospel of peace, the helmet for salvation and the sword for the Spirit of God. For our struggle is not against people or mortal enemies, but against the powers of darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil. These are things that try to stop us from doing God's will, things that are constantly at work to keep us from getting a full glimpse of God's truth. How often does God warn us, be alert, be watchful but we do not heed His word?
My testimony is the reason I believe so strongly that we must provide new believers, especially Deaf believers, with good teachers, mentors and counselors. They need solid teachings and a strong foundation to stand on. They need a sense of belonging into their new spiritual family, especially if their own family rejects them, so that they do not lose heart like I did.
Because of my “backsliding” I was left with a spiritual hunger and looking for other ways to satisfy the void left after experiencing God’s presence. I got involved in many new age practices such as meditation, yoga, witchcraft, astrology, tarots, psychic consultation, and other ways. I even become a yoga teacher for a while. I believe it is very common for Jewish people to go in this direction--because for many of them it is much safer to think of Jesus as an enlightened teacher or an exceptional guru than it is to accept him as the son of Elohim coming down from Heaven to redeem mankind.
The other mistake I made was to "yoke" myself with an unbeliver in marriage. The apostle's message is clear: Do not be bound/yoked/joined together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Messiah with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? Or what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; just as God said, “I will dwell in them and walk among them; and I will be their God and they shall be my people. Therefore, come out from their midst and be separate, says Adonai. (2 Corinthians 6: 14-17) Let this be a warning and an example to anyone who read this. Most people do not want to remember their embarrassing mistakes, much less talk about them. Neither do I, but I have to because I do not want anyone to suffer as I did. I have not always been humble.
The children of Israel were unfaithful to Him many times even after having seen His great power at work... that is why he scattered them all over the world. But God is also able to bring back healing and restoration in anyone's life, as he did in my life. God promises to restore to us many things we have lost through our own lifetime, and through our ancestors. "For behold, days are coming," declares Adonai, "when I will restore the fortunes of My people Israel and Judah. I will also bring them back to the land that I gave to their forefathers and they shall possess it," as another great prophet, Jeremiah wrote.(30:3)
I am now 50 plus years old. I have 2 children from my first marriage. I met my second husband, a faithful believer who pointed me in the direction of the Lord. I re-committed myself to the Lord in 1993 and I have since repented of my rebellion and sins. Adonai is always forgiving and merciful. I have no regrets, even though I wasted some years ignoring Him, I have peace. I see myself as the prodigal daughter who as returned to her Father. The story of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15:32 is one of my favorite parable. It is in the same chapter as the story of the Lost Sheep and the Lost Coin.
One of the first thing I did after I re-committed myself to the Lord was to destroy all my occult books. This is what I call, "repentence through action." Since then, the Lord has blessed me richly with knowledge to fill the gaps in which I had missed Him. This kind of action is also recorded in the book of Acts 19:18-20. Many also of those who had believed kept coming, confessing and disclosing their practices. And many of those who practiced magic brought their books together and began burning them in the sight of all; and they counted up the price of them and found it fifty thousand pieces of silver. So the word of the Lord was growing mightily and prevailing.
I encourage you to make this kind of sacrifice. The blessings that come after are priceless. One of my favorite verse is Romans 11:33-36: Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of Elohim! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways! For who has known the mind of Adonai, or who became His counselor? Or who has first given to Him that it might be paid back to him again? For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen.
Today, Veronique is the founder of the Signs & Wonders ministry, her vision and mission is to teach the people of her faith about the Jewish roots of Christianity, to share the good news of Yeshua with Deaf Jews and to bring both groups together for the purpose of harmony within the body of Messiah, to reflect a name worthy of "the Bride of Messiah." And most of all, to fulfill God's will in her life and be a part of His plan to bring the Kingdom of Heaven here on Earth. To God be the glory and the power forever!
© Copyright 2011. By Veronique, Signs & Wonders Ministry. All Rights Reserved. No part of this story might be reprinted or re-posted on the internet or forwarded in email without permission.
